Pragmatic
by Fectless Hart
Summary: In which Katara is not the hopeful girl from the Southern Water Tribe whose heart shows on her shirtsleeves. Or: Cynical!Katara rewrite AU, because losing a parent is hard enough, and having the whole tribe know that your mother took your place in Koh's ledger is harder- and those rose-tinted shades of yours were shattered long ago. Trigger warnings may apply. Rating may change.
1. 0: The South

Chapter One: The South

* * *

 **Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony.** Then the Fire Nation attacked, and everything changed.

We of the Southern Water Tribe did not have a fortress like our brethren in the North did. So we sent word to our brothers, asking for help. And for all that they still regarded us as a colony of theirs, for all the taxes we paid and warriors we sent when _they_ had need, they abandoned us. And the Earth Kingdom, our trade partners, could barely defend themselves, let alone send aid to a nation at the end of the world.

So we fought alone.

Though water outs fire, fire melts ice. And so it was that the great city of the South was melted, and its children sent back to La- only those from the smaller villages survived the first wave. But years of starvation and brutal raids followed, our benders stolen and our warriors and their families killed- our culture desecrated, until the Fire Nation regarded us as less than spoiled chum in their fish tea. In a last ditch effort to put an end to the war, my father and the rest of the South's men headed north two years ago, leaving my brother and I to watch over the remaining few of our tribe.

Sometimes, Gran-Gran told stories of the time before the war. She spoke of booming trade and plentiful food and airbenders and the avatar- the master of all four elements; the only one who could restore balance to the world. But she has lost hope.

I still believe that the avatar will return and bring balance to the world.

I also believe that the South will have starved to death long before he does.

* * *

Summary: In which Katara is not the hopeful girl from the Southern Water Tribe whose heart shows on her shirtsleeves. Or: Cynical!Katara AU, because losing a parent is hard enough, and having the whole tribe know that your mother took your place in Koh's ledger is harder- and those rose-tinted shades of yours were shattered. Trigger Warnings apply.

Words: 290. Posted: 1/03/17.


	2. 1: Boy in the Iceberg

Chapter Two

* * *

 _ **Boy in the Iceberg**_

* * *

Katara stands in the canoe, opposite of her brother, one gloveless hand being held above the water heedless of the chill. They are fishing right now, or trying to anyway; Sokka is scaring all the fish away.

"Mm, we're having fish tonight," she hears Sokka say. The words echo in the quiet for a long moment, so she shoots him a glare. "I can already taste it."

 _They say, 'don't count your fish before you catch them' for a reason, Sokka,_ she thinks. But she has long given up correcting her brother, having learned that the energy is better spent elsewhere. Like on the chores that she is neglecting to do so she can make sure that the tribe eats tonight. Right now, she could be tidying their living space, or laundering their clothes, or fixing the village wall, or watching children so the mothers can have a break... Or she could be fixing the tear in the village's one fishing net- the tear that made this trip necessary in the first place.

So she doesn't correct Sokka, even if she does think he needs to be checked. Instead, she bends the water around a fish that he has missed, carefully making the orb that she lifts from the sea smaller and smaller, and then dropping the fish and its barely-there swimming space into the boat. Katara has done this a few times now, so there are quite a few fish in the boat- and quite a bit of water.

Her brother notices the increasing wetness around his ankles. _Which means I have to fix his shoes now. Joy,_ Katara thinks as Sokka mutters something about patching up the canoe- something about having her patch up the canoe.

Suddenly, all is still and Sokka is doing more talking and posing than fishing and Katara needs to get out of the boat before she pushes him in to the water and leaves him there until his lips turn blue. "Okay," she says. Her voice is calm despite the anger rushing through her veins and she is proud of that. "That's enough for today. Let's head back, now."

"What?! But we haven't gotten any-" he turns around and sees the small school swimming in their boat- "...fish." For a moment, Katara thinks that that will be the end of it, and she's so proud of her brother. She thinks he's finally growing up, finally going to help her and the village, not just build look out towers and pretend he's a warrior. Then he mutters, "Stupid magic water. Should've known when my feet got wet- this canoe doesn't even have holes."

And she is so disappointed.

But he turns the canoe around and steers them towards home and she doesn't say anything.

That night, they have fish tea for dinner, with the promise of enough leftovers for breakfast. So Katara puts aside the iciness clinging to her heart and and instead fills the hollow of her stomach.

 _Tomorrow will be better,_ she tells herself. Just as she has for years.

* * *

They are out fishing again.

Yesterday, they had gotten enough that the village wouldn't starve, not just yet, but the stores of seaweed and blubber and seal jerky are too low to last the rest of the winter (and they haven't been able to find any seaprunes or seacucumbers this year, and Katara has no clue what they're going to do when the harsh summer months arrive and the sun disappears and the wolves are as hungry as the village is).

Yesterday, one of the children had fallen into the water. He is a strong swimmer- one with bright blue eyes and a love of playing in the snow that reminds Katara so much of herself when she was younger that she thinks he might grow up to be a bender too- so he didn't drown ( _La doesn't drown his favored sons and daughters,_ Katara knows, _he only welcomes them home when they have already lived their lives and given up their spirits_ ) and he has yet to fall ill. But Takerru did fall into La's domain, and the commotion made it so that the women did not repair the net, and Katara was too tired yesterday to have done it after completing her chores and eating supper (and then helping with the children and doing some of Sokka's chores).

So Katara is out fishing with her brother again.

She raises her hand, pulling up a fish- the first one that they've seen all day. "Sokka," she says, the anger of yesterday washed away by the excitement she feels from seeing the size of this fish- it might be enough to feed everyone, all by itself! Katara just needs him to move closer to the edge of the canoe so she can fit it somewhere.

"Shh!" her brother whisper-shouts. He doesn't turn around, but even that doesn't phase her. Instead he raises his spear. "I think I see one. It's not getting away from me this time."

"But, Sokka, I-"

"Not now, Katara."

"If you could just-"

Somehow, the blunt end of his spear manages to jab her in the stomach. She looses both her balance and the fish, and the canoe capsizes as she falls into the water. The two siblings flip the boat over and haul themselves out of the cold water, but the damage is done: the fish have been startled into hiding and Sokka has lost his spear, besides; and Katara can only bend out so much of the water clinging to their furs.

Sokka, starts to say something, but the boat is caught in a current and they're too busy trying to dodge ice floes to do much talking other than panicked shouting.

They end up stranded, their canoe smashed to pieces.

A wet, hungry and frustrated Sokka yells, "I knew I shouldn't have brought you along! Leave it to a girl to mess everything up!"

Katara has had years to practice burying her temper.

But Katara is also hungry and soaked and frustrated and there's only so much a girl take. So she lets her anger out. "You are the most sexist, immature, nut-brained-! I'm embarrassed to be related to you!" She hears her bones crack from the force she swings her arms with.

Sokka cowers away from her, pointing nervously at something. "Uh, Katara-"

"No! I'm not finished! Every time we've gone out looking for food for the past year, all you ever do is pose and make funny faces at yourself whenever you see your reflection!"

"K-Katara!" The little patch of ice they're on rocks dangerously.

"And another thing- I do all the chores while you're running around the village playing warrior, including the laundry- have you ever smelled your dirty socks?"

Sokka's eyes go wide. "Katara, settle d-"

"Let me tell you: they. Are. _Not. PLEASANT!_ "

"Katara!" Sokka lunges forward and grabs her as a huge wave rises out of the water and pushes their little patch of ice far, far away from where it was.

She sits up as soon as the bobbing slows and her bright blue eyes widen when she sees the cause. The entire ice shelf that had once formed a canyon around them is gone. "What...?"

"That's it!" Sokka spits out, pushing away from her. "You officially gone from weird to freakish, Katara!"

She freezes. "You mean I did that?"

He stares at her with hard eyes and Katara isn't sure she wants to hear what he has to say- she's seen that look on him, on the whole tribe, before. But she doesn't have to. Just as he opens his mouth again, a giant dome of glowing ice pushes its way through the water and through the glaring light, Katara can make out the form of a small person- a child- opening their eyes.

She remembers Takerru's incident, the sight of small bodies sinking through the water- remembers once, when she had been outside the village, when she had stepped through ice and nearly drowned, alone.

"He's alive- we have to help him!" Katara grabs the whale-bone club that her brother carries strapped to his back and hops over to the glowing sphere. If several smaller floes move to make her path smoother, she does not notice. (Her brother does, but is more afraid of the being causing the light than his sister's subconscious use of her magic water; especially since the water isn't being destructive this time.)

She strikes the ice once, feels it rebuff the club.

"Katara, get back here!" her brother shouts. "We don't know what that thing is!" She ignores him.

Strikes twice, with more focus, and feels the ice begin to crack.

"Katara, no!" He reaches for her.

Thrice, and air billows out, pushing the siblings away from the sphere as it cracks and falls apart. A beam of bright light reaches for the heavens and a blinded Katara drops the club and mutters, "Father..."

(She misses the startled, squint-eyed look Sokka aims at her. He hasn't realized that she's not talking about Hakoda.)

A figure is cut against the light, standing atop what remains of the once-sphere. Then the light dies and Katara finds herself freed from Sokka's arms, rushing forward to catch a small boy before his head hits the ice.

Sokka rushes forward, his club in hand, and makes to prod the child with it. Katara aims a look over her shoulder and he freezes, letting her gently lower the boy to the ice.

The child lets out a groan at this. Hazel-gray eyes open with a gasp and she frowns. _Is he hurt?_

"I...I need- need to ask… you..." she hears the boy whisper. He is thin and his colorful clothes thinner. The dullness of his eyes contrasts unfavorably against the brightness of his warrior's tattoo, and Katara panics.

 _Hypothermia_ , she realizes. There's no way she and Sokka can save him, not out here. _He was in the ice too long._ Her heart sinks. "Yes...?" she prompts. If she keeps him talking, will he live longer?

"Please, come closer." She leans in, heart constricting. His face brightens suddenly and he pushes himself upright with too little force, "Will you go penguin-sledding with me?"

She blinks once, "Uh." _What? Penguin-sledding?_ Blinks again.

But the boy doesn't wait for an answer, raising to his feet and asking, "What's going on here?"

The question of the day.

That seems to kick-start Sokka though. He gets into what could be a warrior's stance as the boy rubs his head, brandishing his club. "You tell us! How'd you get in the ice- and why aren't you frozen."

Katara frowns at this, wondering the same thing, but the boy just waves aside her brother's questions and looks around, still obviously befuddled. "I-"

A rumbling groan interrupts and Katara goes still. The strange child (because nothing about him seems to make sense), however, jumps into action, clambering over what remains of the icy dome and exclaiming, "Appa!"

What follows is an introduction to a fluffy monster, a sneeze, and a giant wad of smelly snot sticking to her brother. Katara watches all of this with a blank face and can only think, _Koh's face, this day can't get any weirder._

Then, as Sokka attempts to rub the smelly green stuff off onto the ice, the boy says, "Don't worry, it'll wash out."

And Katara scowls. Great. More smelly laundry.

The boy pets the fluffy monter. "So... You guys live around here?"

Sokka stops trying to clean himself off, reaching for his club again and spouting off paranoid theories about the boy being a spy. Personally, Katara thinks he's more likely to be a waterbender than some Fire Nation brat- especially with how innocent he seems- but she _is_ worried that the Fire Navy is going to show up to investigate the light show, so she rushes through the rest of the introductions. Aang (turns out that that's his name, which seems to be neither Water Tribe nor Fire Nation in origin) sneezes, flying several feet upwards while doing so.

Katara was wrong. The day _can_ get weirder. "You're an airbender."

"Yep."

"I must have midnight sun madness." Sokka decides he's had enough for the day and insists on going home and leaving Aang behind. Then he remembers that the canoe is gone.

"Appa and I can give you guys a lift."

Katara doesn't even blink. With how the day is turning out, she's half certain that the seaprunes in the soup last night were bad and she's going to wake up with a migraine and a bad stomachache. "We'd love a ride. Thank you."

Sokka protests the whole time, even as Katara sees him climbing onto the bison.

"Hold on tight! Appa, yip-yip." Of course, the bison can't really fly- which prompts Sokka's sarcasm, and the look that Aang gives her while she directs him to the village is creepy, even by full-stomach dream standards.

Katara wonders, still not quite sure if she's awake, if Aang knows the avatar, seeing as he's an airbender. But she hasn't been one to ask questions for quite some time, so she just lets the ride back happen in silence.

* * *

By the time they get back, nearly everyone is sleeping. The few who aren't glance at the boy from the corners of their eyes and disappear into their tents and igloos after frowning at Katara.

"Again?" those frowns seem to ask.

She forgets to remind herself that things will get better before she retires. She doesn't sleep well that night.

* * *

Word Count: 2,347. Posted: 1/09/17


	3. 2: Tribe

Chapter Three

* * *

 _ **Tribe**_

* * *

She can almost hear Aang's heartbeat as she passes by his tent when "morning" has come. She can almost feel the way his blood rushes through his veins as though trying to flee from a pack of arctic wolves and realizes that he is in the midst of a nightmare.

(How can Sokka not hear him, sitting vigil just outside the tent as he is?)

(She very, very carefully ignores the fact that it is his blood and not his breathing that has alerted her.)

(No, she must have heard his breathing. Surely she cannot hear Aang's blood. No one can _hear_ blood from as far away as she is.)

Katara leans down, reaches out a hand- blood, pulsing through his veins and a frantic tattoo beating in his chest, so different from the smooth, pooling rhythm that hums from the flesh under the blue arrows decorating his skin- And then she pulls back and, instead, says, "Aang, wake up," until the boy wakes with a gasp and wild eyes. She has had enough experience with nightmares to know not to bring attention to his. "Get ready; everyone is waiting to meet you."

She can't help but stare at the markings that he has adorned himself with as he pulls his strange, colorful shirt back on. She can still almost feel the humming of energy coming from it. Katara has never felt such a thing from another person before.

"Aang," Katara says the next morning when everyone has come to stare at the tattooed boy, "this is the entire village. Everyone, this is Aang." Perhaps some would be embarrassed to introduce her tribe of survivors to this airbender- this child out of time who is so full of hope and laughter and light- the way she does.

But instead of the small, unsmiling, underfed group she knows Aang sees (she can tell he does, from the look in his hazel-gray eyes), Katara sees a people that will outlast even the worst of wars. She sees Sara, who has burn-scars under her clothes from a past raid and nightmares that won't cease, but still sings lullabies for frightened younglings and tells them to not be afraid. She sees Gran-Gran, who talks with a different accent from everyone else and refuses to speak of her life before she turned up here alone and broken-hearted, pregnant with Katara's father. She sees Hana, whose two-year-old twins have never met their father, but still know what it is to always feel loved. Katara sees the scars of her people, and the strength they have to move past them.

So when the look clears from Aang's eyes and he greets her people, Katara smiles.

That his eyes clear up does not mean that the tribe reciprocates his action, though. In fact, they take a collective step away from him.

(Katara is the one to introduce him, the one who has decided that they will offer him and his giant, fuzzy snot-ball of a pet shelter for however long it takes the beast to be able to fly again- if it can fly. Her endorsement is a strike against him.)

The boy notices. "Uh... Why are they all looking at me like that? Did Appa sneeze on me?"

"Well, no one has seen an airbender in a hundred years," Gran-Gran, with her purple parka and hair-loops, steps forward and deadpans. "We thought they were extinct."

Katara bites back a sigh at the hostile faces of her tribe and the hurt look on Aang's face. _What are you supposed to say to that?_

"Extinct?"

"What is this anyway? A weapon?"

 _Thank the spirits for Sokka._ And wow, that feels weird to think.

Sokka makes a grab for Aang's staff, and the airbending boy does something to it, opening it like one of the fans that the Earth Kingdoms once. He shows them airbending tricks until he crashes into the lump of snow that Sokka calls a watchtower.

And then Gran-Gran tells her to get back to her chores and Katara feels something that might be mild disappointment, but she understands that his presence means there is another mouth to feed- that she is responsible for this strange boy since she brought him to the village, and she is content enough to simply glance at the way he plays with the children from time to time. (A big part of that contentment is the way she manages to avoid her brother, avoid talking about yesterday, all day.)

* * *

When everyone is called for midday meal, Aang shares stories, eating very little and then returning to his bison.

"Where did you find him?" Gran-Gran asks after they clean up. It is just the two of them, as Sokka is still convinced that Aang is a Fire Nation spy and has decided to keep a close eye on the boy again.

Katara pauses in the middle of scrubbing a dish. She's really not sure how to say this. _Oh, that. I just had a breakdown and my bending went haywire and completely destroyed everything above the surface within a half-mile radius. And he was trapped in a glowing sphere of ice that had been part of the no-longer-there canyon but managed to be perfectly fine after I broke him out. No biggie, Gran-Gran._

"We...Well, that is, he was...," she stalls.

Gran-Gran, with a wisdom born of experience, says, "I will not like what you have to say, will I?"

"Probably not." They're silent for a little while. Then Katara fists her hands and stares at the walls. "Gran-Gran, I think-" Her voice breaks. "I think I might be dangerous."

Her grandmother doesn't reply. The silence feels damning and Katara hastens to fill it.

"I've always known that I can do things that Sokka can't- and I-I _know_ that you and Dad don't want me practicing my bending," Katara knows why, too, which is what makes this next part so hard, "but I _have_ been."

" _Katara_."

"I only do it when I have to, Gran-Gran, like if we really need freshwater, or if someone falls in the ocean, or if Sokka can't catch any fish-"

Gran-Gran frowns, knowing that her grandson isn't the best fisherman (and that he falls into La's domain. Often). "That-"

"But I don't think it matters!" Katara throws her hands up, and suddenly a portion of their snowy wall is solid ice. Gran-Gran draws in a sharp breath. "See? I wasn't even trying to do that just now! And yesterday..." Katara falls silent, unable to continue without prompting.

Gran-Gran's hands clamp down on Katara's shoulders, turning the girl to face her. "Katara, what happened?" The old woman's eyes are wide.

It is in a small voice that Katara says, "I lost my temper." And then the words pour out like the spreading of cracks in thin patches of ice. Her words are running together and she's crying but she can't stop herself. "I know that I'm not supposed to bend, Gran-Gran, but what if not bending makes it worse?"

Gran-Gran is quiet and her hands fall from Katara's shoulders. The girl looks up at her grandmother through teary eyes and flinches, because she knows what the old woman is thinking; she knows because she, too, is thinking of the raids and the burning bodies and swelling stomachs and drowned children and people who are just _gone_ with only the scents of soot and blood and broken hearts left in their place. Gran-Gran doesn't need to say anything, because Katara can see it in her eyes: the older woman is accusing her, just like so many did when her mother was lost.

Katara stands frozen for one long moment, but then she runs.

* * *

It's dangerous outside the village, even during the day. Even during the winter months when the weather is calm and the sunlight never fades there are predators that would not hesitate to eat a human- to hunt one down like an arctic hare and feast on manflesh. But Katara isn't thinking of the tigerseals or arctic wolves or polar dogs.

She just needs to run.

* * *

A short time after her mother's death, Katara had done this very same thing. No one in the village could stand to look at her, no one wanted her help with anything and sometimes they forgot that she was just a child and used more than simply harsh words to scare her away. So she taken to spending time outside the village. One day during that horrible spring, she had gotten lost.

It was common for the village to move after raids- and after the one that stole Katara's mother, the village had done so; they couldn't stand the memories that the sooty snow carried, despite the danger of the coming summer. It was during that short period between the men scouting for a decent location and the tribe carrying out their belongings to settle wherever the warriors chose that Katara had slipped away. She was young then, nearing eight summers, and the last time the village had moved, she hadn't even thought to dream of her third longnight.

So Katara had slipped away, knowing that the grownups were preparing to do something important but not knowing what, afraid to even stick around and see- never mind _asking_ \- because she knew that it was her fault. And when the tribe moved, they did not send someone to look for her.

She spent the day sledding with the penguins and watching wild polar dogs from a distance and not playing with the snow and ice as she had only weeks before. Katara, for the first time since her mother's death, spent the day feeling... not quite okay, but very close to it. And then, when she felt the sun trade places with the moon as it always did in preparation for the coming summer's longnight, she returned to the village.

And she neither saw nor heard anyone.

She ran through the streets, eyes wide but unseeing, until she found the imprint of where her family's home had stood on the packed ice and snow. For a moment she stared at the empty ground. Then she lifted her eyes and finally saw that only a few structures- the permanent ones like the village meeting hall and the food storehouse- remained.

Her heart skipped a beat as she realized what had happened: everyone had left and they had not thought to take her with them.

But she had no tears left; they had all been spent on her mother. So she did not cry. Instead Katara recalled words that her father had spoken to her brother. "Remember, Sokka, that a warrior always observes and follows the tracks that their prey has made..." There had been more to it, something about working together like the arctic wolves, and something else about tigerseals and traps and thin ice, but she only remembered that first bit. And something Gran-Gran had said about blessings and spirits and music.

She figured she could do that- follow the tracks her village had made as they left behind this place of blood and tears; if her dad thought Sokka could back when he was the age she was now, then she could do it too. And if music was supposed to help, she could sing.

"Father La and Mother Tui," she murmured as darkness grew. Her heart stuttered as she heard the arctic wolves begin calling to one another. She took a steadying breath, "F-Father La and Mother Tui, listen now, I beseech thee..." She chanted the words of the children's song a little off-key and a little too quietly, but she sang the one verse she knew the over and over, feeling a sort of pull in her bones that lead her northeast-wards. She found footprints, and a few dropped items that she carefully picked up, but no wolves.

By the time the moon had fully risen, she saw the outlines of smoke from cooking fires.

She dropped the items by the new central fire and went in search of her father and brother and grandmother.

(No one had even realized that she'd been left behind. Or, if they had, the surprise on their faces reaffirmed what she already knew. They hadn't expected her to come back.)

The village moves again, several times, before the men leave for the Earth Kingdoms. She is always out of the village when they do. She always finds them by high moon. After a while they stop pretending to be surprised.

* * *

Katara runs and runs and only when she feels she will collapse and never rise again does she slow enough to take in her surroundings.

* * *

Word Count: 2,181. Posted: 1/27/17


	4. 3: Penguin Sleds and Booby Traps

Chapter Four

* * *

 _ **Penguin Sleds and Booby Traps**_

* * *

The snow glistens in the fading light, reds and golds contrasting with the deep blue shadows in the way that the landscape usually does when twilight occurs. The sunsets are long now and the actual days and nights short, but Katara can recognize this particular place regardless of the lighting. The area she stands in now is one of the few places in her childhood that had remained unsullied by her mother's death- mostly because this is the first time she's been here since then. Her mother had often found Katara here with her brother- sometimes she would even join them. But Katara no longer plays.

(Katara can remember the last time she had been playing with Sokka- the last time she had felt like a child, and it hadn't been here. No, it had been closer to home on that last day. That last day- the day when joy ended and Katara might as well have become Koh himself for all the bad luck she seems to bring.)

All the same, Katara knows this clearing. In fact, if she were to crest the hill, she is certain that she'll see some child from the village holding a small smoked or salted fish (pinched from the storehouse) aloft, trying to entice penguins into carrying them around. She can almost hear the children giggling.

No, wait. She _can_ hear laughter.

"H-Hey," a voice calls jovially, "come on, little guys. Wanna go sledding?"

But that voice doesn't belong to one of the village children. That's Aang. And she's responsible for him, too, so she needs to go make sure he doesn't cause the animals to stampede and get himself hurt. So Katara steadies her breathing and makes her way over, just in time to watch the strange boy lunge for an otter-bird and miss. Aang gets to his feet and smiles at her.

"I have a way with animals," he laughs, proceeding to make a weird "nark-nark-nark" sound and waddle after the penguins.

A smile tugs at her lips as she watches.

It's been a long time since she got to see a child having so much fun. Even now, the mothers don't really like it when she watches the children, often only allowing her to do so when it's time for them to lay down for a spell or if one of them (one of the mothers) is sick. And otherwise, she has so many chores to do that take her from the village or leave her by herself and can only watch from a distance as Sokka tries and fails to mold the younglings into warriors.

So watching Aang try to catch a penguin is a treat. Right now, he's trying to hold one, but the many-limbed otter-bird just drags him along as he grasps at its feet.

The words leave her mouth before she can think to hold them in, "That's not how you catch a penguin, Aang."

"Really?" He lets go and rolls over to stare at her.

She swallows. _He looks so trusting_ , she can't help but think, _so relaxed_. Even the children back in the village don't look at her with so much trust, and Sokka and Gran-Gran never... Katara's face goes blank. "Yeah. Here," she says, forcing away her other thoughts and unthinkingly slipping into one of the few stances that helps her bending, "I'll show you." And she plucks a small fish from the water.

Immediately the animals start swarming.

But the boy doesn't focus on them. "You're a waterbender!"

Katara's face remains carefully schooled. "Yeah. I am." Because there's no point in denying it, really. Because she has waterbended _without thinking_ , again, and put someone in danger, _again_ , and obviously she should have known better because even this strange airbending boy from within the ice would know that a Southern waterbender is nothing but bad luck and now he's going to avoid her too.

But instead he says, "That's so cool! I've never met a waterbender before!"

 _No, I don't suppose you would have, all things considered._

She blinks. "Well, you're looking at the last waterbender from the South Pole." Nothing much to look at really. Nothing good comes of being a waterbender these days. For her and those nearby especially.

Aang looks so confused. "But a waterbender has to master water. How can you do that if there's no one to teach you?"

(And Katara remembers then: discussions between her parents when she ought to be asleep. How great it is that the South has a bender again; how proud they are that she's theirs; how they'll find someone for her, because a bender has to learn to bend. Then: discussions between her father and Gran-Gran and the rest of the tribe when they think she's out of earshot. How terrible it is that the raids have started coming more frequently; how terrible that a waterbender has attracted firebenders again and caused so many deaths just as things were getting better.)

 _Maybe I shouldn't._

(Waterbending is a bad thing. A very bad thing.)

She shrugs, throwing the fish at one of the younger-looking penguins and watching as it is chased around.

"What about the North Pole? There are other waterbenders there, right?"

Katara blinks because, yeah, there would be other waterbenders at the other pole, wouldn't there? But she wouldn't really know- doesn't know if there is a North Pole still. "They're pretty far away. We haven't heard from our sister tribe in a long time." Not since they refused to send aid at the beginning of the war.

And here Aang smiles, his whole face lighting up like an aurora. "But you forget," he says, pointing at himself, "I have a flying bison. I can personally take you to the North Pole. Katara, we're gonna find you a master!"

She doesn't know what kind of face she's making right now. "That sounds-" There's no way that could happen. But to leave- to go somewhere where her bending isn't a curse, somewhere where she isn't hated or looked down on or known only as misfortune. To be free-

 _Would mean abandoning everyone that Mom sacrificed herself for._

"I mean," her hands come to grasp each other and she realizes for the first time that she has lost her gloves. "I don't know, Aang." His face falls and she feels so guilty. So she throws him a phrase to placate him, much like throwing fish to penguins: "I've never left home before." Not without meaning to come back. And if she leaves the South Pole, she isn't sure she would ever return.

He still sounds a bit upset, perhaps disappointed, as he says, "Well, you think about it. In the meantime, show me what you did with the penguins again?"

Katara forces a smile onto her face. "Alright. Watch closely."

And then the penguins mob the young boy as she bends a fish into his hands.

* * *

Shortly thereafter, they stand at the top of a cliff, two penguins following them around in the hopes of obtaining more food.

"Let's do this!" Aang hops on the penguin before she can give him one final warning about sledding, and she has to follow along.

But she enjoys it.

The wind pushing the hood of her parka back and whipping her hair-loops around her face; the churning of her stomach as the otter-bird speeds and swirls around in the tunnels of ice and melting snow without care for the destination; the weight of her responsibilities falling away as the penguins soar with no fear of falling... This is the closest to free that she has felt in ages.

So of course the ride ends on a sour note.

The birds slide to a stop on an icy plain and squawk nervously, struggling to rise from under the two of them. Katara pales as she realizes where their reckless sledding- and Aang does, too, though he only stares in confusion at the sight ahead of them.

"W-What is that?"

"A Fire Navy ship and a very bad memory for my people." Jagged spires of ice hold the metal monstrosity up, the ice around it so solid that Katara cannot see the ocean below despite being mere feet from the water. "It has haunted my tribe since-" she forces the words past the blockage in her throat, "since Gran-Gran was young."

 _The air here..._ Katara shivers. _It almost feels as though Father and Lady Tui are just barely holding back a longnight storm._

Movement from the corner of her eye draws her attention. "Aang, wait!" The boy keeps moving. "We're not allowed near it- it could be booby trapped."

Finally, he pauses, looking over his shoulder at her and grinning. "To be good a bender, you have to let go of fear." And then he begins climbing the ice to find a way into the ship. (No, ship is too gentle a word for this giant, metal beast. It's too tame to describe what was one of the first strikes against her people.)

She disagrees- to be a good bender is to know when not to do something stupid. But she's responsible for him, which means that if he goes in there and sets off a trap she will be blamed for it. "Aang! Wait- don't."

 _Koh take his face!_ The boy ignores her, just like everyone else does, and she is forced to follow him.

He pauses for only a moment to help her through a hole in the metal _thing's_ side. The boy is easy to spot as he wanders through the monstrosity- his bright clothing contrasting against the dark walls, his steps echoing.

She has to get him out of here. "This was one of the Fire Nation's first attacks."

Finally, he stops in front of a weapons shelf. "Okay, back up. I have friends all over the world, even in the Fire Nation. I've never seen any war." He lifts one of the metal spears, a frown forming on his face.

Katara's blood turns to ice. _Never seen any-_ Friends _in the_ Fire Nation _-_ "Aang... How long were you in that iceberg?"

"I dunno-" Katara can feel her feet freezing to the metal beneath her. "-A few days, maybe?"

"I...That doesn't..." Her breath mists into the air. "I think it was more like a hundred years, Aang."

"What!" He nearly drops the spear as he finally turns to face her. "That's impossible! Do I look like a hundred twelve-year-old man to you?"

"Just- Think about it. The war has been going on for almost a hundred years; you don't know about it- you would have had to have been in there the whole time. It's- it's the only explanation." The only one that makes sense, at least.

(The spirits play tricks on people, some of them at least, but Lady Tui and Father are too compassionate and serious, Agni too proud, and the patron spirits of airbenders and earthbenders could never be bothered to move someone through time. And lesser spirits aren't powerful enough to do such a thing.)

"A-a hundred years?" The airbender backs away from her, until his legs suddenly give out and he nearly slams against a wall. He holds his head in his hands, hiding his wide, wild eyes from her. "I can't believe it."

She kneels down beside him, ice melting into cold water, a hand raised to touch him- to offer comfort. But she draws back. Words, too, fail her; she doesn't get farther than a weak, "I-" Because she has lost her mother, her family, her tribe, but the last two are alive still. He has lost his entire people, his home is destroyed, and all this to a war he had not even known existed. Words cannot make things better; and touch from one such as her- a Southern waterbender, of all people, would only make things worse.

They sit in silence until he draws himself to his feet. "There is a bright side to all of this. I know it."

Katara's heart twists because, _A bright side?_ Truly, this boy before her is so young. _Maybe it's good that he can think that_.

He at least has Appa. He has made it to her tribe instead of falling into the hands of firebenders who would only try to kill him. Perhaps, if there is a bright side to be found, the good he is able to see stems from those two things.

Aang staggers from the room. She rises to follow him. They have forgotten which way the entrance is and, while they look for it, his foot catches on a wire that had been hidden in a pile of snow and he winces. Katara freezes again.

Bars slide over the door, hissing fills the chamber. She can hear something being shot into the air with a high-pitched whine and Aang asks, "What was that you said about booby traps?"

For a long moment, they stand still, staring at each other with wide eyes. Then they nearly explode into a flurry of motion as they rush to get away. Aang shouts, "Hang on!" and she has to hold back an instinctive flinch as he grabs for her, even as it becomes clear that he is only using his bending to help them escape from the metal monster before something else can go wrong. She stumbles when he sets her down, and even as she leads him back to the village, she can feel her frozen fingers and toes breaking, feel suddenly unsteady limbs shaking as she struggles to breathe. Her heart is beating too hard and too fast and she can almost taste blood in her mouth.

It isn't until she begs, _Father, help me, please_ , that the sensations begin to fade.

(The taste lingers.)

* * *

Katara can see that the village has gathered at the gate as she and Aang crest the last hill. The children cheer as they spot the airbender, rushing out to meet him with smiles and embraces and she can only wonder, _What did he do?_

Because they clearly like him. Even the shy Xuehuu, who hangs back by her mother instead of rushing forward with the others, looks relieved to see him safe.

 _They like him almost as much as everyone hates me_. The thought is mean, edged with hurt and tinged with the color of La's depths in the midst of a storm; she pushes it away. (Or tries to. It stays like the metallic stain of blood on her tongue, and she does not quite know why that hurts more than having had the thought in the first place.)

As excited as the children are to see their new airbending friend, the adults and Sokka are clearly not.

Her brother rushes forward, face darkening with every step. In his eyes, she can see the reflection of the monstrosity's flare slowly falling from the sky. "I knew it! You signaled the Fire Navy with that flare- you're leading them straight to us, aren't you?!"

Katara can feel the blood of the people surrounding her again; she's going mad. "No," she mutters. Sokka's head snaps towards her, his heart pumps a little harder. She refocuses. "It was an accident, Sokka."

"Yeah! We were on the ship and there was this booby trap and, well, we boobied right into it." His posture and voice are a study in regret; Katara stands firm and cold, body language showing no such signs. Though she does wish he hadn't spoken up.

Here Gran-Gran steps forward, a stern look on her face. "Katara! You should not have gone on that ship." She stares back at the old woman, unflinching. But her grandmother continues, "Now we could all be in danger."

The words "because of you," aren't spoken, but by the look everyone but Aang sports, Katara knows that the tribe is thinking them.

Aang rushes to defend her- tries to take the blame upon himself- and that is when she looks away, because the only one who believes Katara to be blameless is not only wrong, he is not of the tribe. He is a stranger that she is responsible for, that she has brought into the village, a warrior, or the Air Nomads' equivalent- based on his tattoos, and he is honor-bound to defend her, if only for those reasons. Blame for his actions rests with Katara and only Aang himself does not know.

"Aha!" Sokka finger points at the airbending boy, but she feels his eyes rest on her. "The traitor confesses! Warriors," he calls to the children, "away from the enemy. The foreigner is banished from our village."

Aang looks heart-broken at this, but Katara- Katara feels only fury. _Always_ , she thinks. _Always_.

"You're making a mistake," she says without inflection. She can feel every molecule in her body agreeing with this. The snow beneath her hardens into ice, creeps up to steady her feet. "Aang is not our enemy."

"No, I'm keeping my promise to Dad. I'm keeping everyone _safe_."

 _Am I included in that "everyone?"_ Another thought to be dragged away by the tides of her mind and frozen out of reach.

She turns away from her brother, trails her eyes over the crowd, and feels her anger drain. "Gran-Gran, please." She is so tired, suddenly.

But Gran-Gran shakes her head. "No, Katara, you knew that going on that ship was forbidden." But she hadn't. Not really. _Katara_ had never been told not to go on the ship. Quite frankly, no one had cared where she went until the men left and more hands were needed to keep the village from starving. More than once, one of the warriors (actual warriors, not the children going through Sokka's attempts at training) had even encouraged her to do something that would probably kill her. "I think it's best if the airbender leaves."

The _airbender_. Not _Aang_. No, because he is a bender, and the South has no use for those.

"Fine," Katara says. Perhaps Sokka can feel a hint of what Katara means. He is the only one who looks at her, the only one who does not turn away as she and Aang stand on the other side of an invisible line drawn in the snow. She has had years to practice burying what she feels, but this... _This has been a long time in coming_. "Come on, Aang, let's go." The ice around her feet thaws; the ice around her heart solidifies. She begins walking towards Appa.

"Katara! Where do you think you're going?"

She stops but doesn't turn around. "The North Pole."

"You would choose him over your tribe- over your own family?"

Her eyes close. Her mouth opens-

"No. Katara," Aang interrupts, "I won't come between you and your family." The airbender says goodbye, hardly letting her get a word in edgewise: "It was nice meeting everyone."

One of the girls rushes forward, begging him not to leave. Katara can't even look at them.

"I'll miss you, too," he says.

And then he's gone.

* * *

Word Count: 3,176. Posted: 2/11/17

Note: When I started posting this story, I told myself that I wouldn't put any author's notes here, just so that the site wouldn't say that the story is longer than it actually is. I'm amending that to not posting _many_ notes. First off, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, followed, or added this ficlet of mine to their list of favorites.

Second, Dusty had some concerns that I feel a need to address. I love character development and pretty much every character in this show except for Zhao and the Dai Li... and maybe the pirates, so there will probably not be any blatant character bashing. However, Katara is our adorable unreliable narrator, which might lead to a lot of snark that _could_ be viewed as bashing, but really is not meant to _be_ such. I might add a pairing later, but this is a Cynical!Katara fic- so don't worry about her suddenly becoming a boy-crazed floozy even if I do add romance. And the way I write romance is usually pretty subtle, like a really intense friendship with a hint of attraction, so the focus would still be more on group dynamics in such a situation. Also: everybody will undergo some degree of character development. As I stated above, it's one of my hobbies to think about how story lines would change if one person was a different type of character.

Third, what does "na8" mean?

Finally, IRead2MuchManga, I really like your profile picture; it's funny.

Note Length: 258 words.


	5. 4: Wolves

Chapter Five

* * *

 ** _Wolves_**

* * *

It's strange, the way life returns to normal so quickly after Aang's departure.

Well, it's not quite _normal_.

The distance between Katara and the rest of her tribe is different from before, no longer simply weary and distrustful as it has been since the men went off to fight and took the lurking threat of physical harm with them. No longer does she wish to be accepted by a people who would send a child out into the tundra alone, a people who would blame her for things that are not her fault and wish she had died on that fateful day, years ago. A people blind to kindness and forgiveness because of their fear. Now the distance between them is brittle and cold and sharp-edged, as if they are a pack of arctic wolves fighting off a lone polar bear-dog; worse, a polar bear-dog that they had taken in as a cub and then resented when it grew larger than they, with sharper claws and better skill alone than each of them could even pray for.

Katara finally understands now that she is the polar bear-dog in this situation.

And she has outgrown them, and their petty, frightened small mindedness.

Not that she can do anything about it, at the moment. She wasn't exactly sure whose idea it was, but Katara is tied up in the storehouse with half-empty clay pots and is thus unable to use her bending to free herself. _I bet it was Sara_ , the bender thinks to herself. _She never could look at me without glaring or flinching._ _And she was always watching me. Always._ It was kind of creepy and definitely a warning, in hindsight. The last time she was tied up like this, it had been one of the warriors that had never seemed to be a threat. (Since then, Katara had thought she knew that the arctic wolves of the village were more dangerous than the ones outside. Perhaps she'll remember this time.)

(She does know the worst thing about growing up surrounded by wolves, though: they are many to her bear-dog's few, and have more eyes to watch with and sides to pounce from.)

She just wishes she hadn't been jumped from behind; Katara might have been able to bend herself out of the situation if she'd only seen them coming.

But no, she'd been watching Sokka "ready the defenses" and warn the children that warriors don't take "potty breaks." (And she had always thought that was stupid of him; it wasn't like the Fire Nation was going to stop in the middle of a fight just because someone needed to go, so why shouldn't warriors go pee before a battle? La knows that Sokka took enough potty breaks when he went on "hunting trips.") And then someone had hit her in the back of the head and she'd woken up in the storehouse.

Her wrists ache as she attempts to loosen her bonds, but she keeps tugging, tugging, tug- the ice beneath her begins to tremble and she topples over, as the pottery shatters and the hanging seal jerky and kelp drop to the ground. In an attempt to righten herself, Katara lands on a jagged piece of what was once a jar. She's bleeding now, but the ropes around her hands have slackened. She slips them off.

The ground continues to rumble and shake as she makes her way out of the hut and the scene before her nearly halts her: a looming monster of dark metal, black clouds billowing into the sky, icy ground giving way as the village wall begins to crumble, a fissure opening up to swallow-

She moves, suddenly, her pulse loud in her ears. Loud enough to drown out everything else.

A fissure is opening up to swallow Takerru. (Distantly, she thinks she must be right about his being a bender. With how unlucky that child is, there's really no other explanation.)

At the last second, she manages to haul him away from the spreading abyss. Her blood begins to stain his clothing, and he has gone limp from shock, but his heartbeat draws her mind back to the fore and she calms down enough to hide him in the tent farthest from the monster bearing down on the village.

Sokka, stubborn fool that he is, is standing upon what remains of the village wall.

She wants to leave him there. To run from the village and turn her back on this useless place. But she remembers, faintly, that he had been loved by _her_ \- by their _Mother_ and- "Sokka, move!"

He doesn't listen. (But why would he listen to Katara of all people?) He doesn't move until the packed snow slides away from the monster and red-black, metal-skinned abominations come spewing from the monster's belly. Sokka charges at them.

Katara is truly frozen this time.

She does not register the rest of the village gathering around her, or the pitiful fight that Sokka engages in, or the way that blood has begun to pool under her still-dripping arm.

She is frozen: bones and blood made of ice, a sculpture joined to the ground beneath her. She's not breathing nor does she blink, though her eyes see nothing. (She can't even feel the heartbeats that had been so loud only seconds ago.)

Suddenly, one of the monsters is before her with its hand reaching out and its voice demanding something. Katara cringes away, unable to understand the words spewing from the creature. Katara's mind has conjured up dark eyes and black snow, the scent of burning flesh, and the sounds of malice.

It grabs Gran-Gran.

Katara does not come back into the present, but she reacts to this; her mind adds something new to the nightmare: burned bodies and foul smoke and silence as she bleeds out. _No no no, please, Father, no!_ she, can just barely hear her own thoughts plea. The heartbeats are back, louder than she had ever heard them before, and it feels almost as though she could reach out a hand and _touch_ them. Her whole body flinches.

It's like she wants to help, but... Part of her is just... She's almost...maybe...

(She's going insane.)

"He'd be about this old," the creature continues, oblivious to her impending breakdown, "Master of all four elements?"

Katara stares blankly at it. (She's still not really there.)

This must frustrate the thing, because it throws Gran-Gran into her. The old woman flinches away from her though, and hides behind her just before the creature lets loose a blast of flame. The children scream.

Katara gasps and her hands jerk. But she still can't control herself and now she's starting to hyperventilate. Her hands are beginning to sting from the cold, especially the bleeding one.

"I know you're hiding him!"

Sokka charges with a roar, stopping the creature from firing at them again by drawing its attention. Within moments, he has lots his weapons, even that stupid boomerang of his, Arash is throwing him a spear and the other young boys are cheering him on. He gets his butt handed to him. And the creature advances threateningly.

This time Katara does manage to get her body to move- sort of. She looks down to see what's stopping her from rushing forward and scowls.

Turns out she has literally frozen her feet to the ground agai- She blanches, missing the way the boomerang has come back.

She's not bleeding anymore. And there is no longer a puddle beneath her hand.

Instead, her blood has frozen onto her fingers, all the way to the second joint of each digit, forming something like a bear-dog's claws. Her eyes widen. She squeaks, a sound covered up by the cheering of the children, and the frozen blood is immediately fluid again, falling into the snow with a quiet _sprunch_.

 _Oh no._ She looks up again at the sudden silence. _Why- Did they see-?_

But no, it's only Aang, sliding to a stop on his penguin-sled.

She breathes again. She looks at her hand, surprised to see that it's bleeding agin.

 _Wait. Aang?_

Her head snaps up to face him. "Hey, Katara! Hey, Sokka!" And he smiles brightly.

Katara's incredulous, "What?" is drowned out by the sound of her brother's very unenthusiastic reply.

But then the metal-skinned creatures are attempting to attack Aang, and Katara misses her chance to ask again.

He blows several of them away, covers a few more in snow, and finally asks- sounding more serious than she's ever heard from him, "Looking for me?"

The first creature's voice is stunned when it (he?) asks, "You're the airbender? You're the Avatar?" A few of the tribe let out shocked exclamations. The creature (Katara's mind has cleared enough for her to recognize that it's actually a teenaged firebender, a boy with an ugly scar) ignores them, though, saying, "I've spent years preparing for this encounter. Training, meditating," he sneers, "You're just a child!"

Aang, sweet, naive child that he is, is obviously confused by the statement, for he replies, "You're just a teenager."

The creature blasts fire at him.

Aang dodges and deflects until some of the bending pushes the fire too close to the tribe. Reflexively, Katara's arm moves, but Gran-Gran grabs her and the children scream, but the fire dissipates on its own. The airbender plants himself between the villager and the firebender.

"If I go with you," Aang asks, "will you promise to leave everyone alone?"

 _What?_

A tense moment passes between the airbender and the firebenders while Katara struggles to get away from her grandmother, to peel the old woman's hand from her mouth, but the teenager nods ( _he's the one in charge?_ ) and the other firebenders restrain Aang.

Gran-Gran sags in relief and Katara finally wrests herself free, shouting, "No, Aang, don't do this!" She takes all of three steps before the rest of the village grabs at her and pulls her back.

"Don't worry, Katara." She can see the way that he has to force his smile not to drop. "I'll be fine."

(Everyone misses the way that the teenagers glances at her and frowns, eyes lingering for a moment on her sluggishly bleeding hand.)

The group of foreigners marches back into the metal monstrosity that the Fire Nation calls a ship. The door closes with a hiss and it sails away.

* * *

For the first time in years, Katara can feel tears attempting to fall from her eyes. She doesn't let them. Instead, she closes her eyes and plans.

When the others finally release her, she opens them, praying, _Father, please let this work_.

Because it doesn't really matter if Aang is the Avatar. It doesn't really matter that he's been taken. He's the only person who had out faith in her for years, the only one who doesn't hate her for being born as a bender besides a woman long dead.

On top of that, she was the one who rescued Aang from the ice; she's responsible for him.

Katara's getting him back.

Father, she prays idly as she gets to her feet, _have mercy on the fools who try to stand in my way._

 _Because I won't._

* * *

Word Count: 1,867. Posted: 3/17/17


	6. 5: The Avatar Returns

Chapter Six

* * *

 _ **The Avatar Returns**_

* * *

Katara does not share a dwelling with anyone else in the village. She has not done so since before _M_ \- since before. And, as the tribe of wolves tries to leave her behind every time they move camp, Katara keeps all of her possessions in a little igloo that she hardened into ice, the doorway frozen shut while she sleeps in the village. Often, she will take short journeys away from the rest of the village to hunt for arctic hare alone; she always destroys the structure when she does so.

It is because of this that no one realizes she is leaving. Until Sokka notices her by the remaining canoe, her possessions in a small pack thrown over her shoulders.

(The first time she went hunting for food, the village wasn't sharing with her anymore and she was craving meat- other than the small fish she sometimes managed to bend from the depths of La. The village hadn't moved by the time she came back with a two hares dragging in the snow behind her, so she returned to the igloo that she was staying in (alone, because- Because.). One of the warriors had trapped a snake in there, and the rest of the village had taken her things. It bit her. And she was lucky it wasn't poisonous. All the same, she lied there in agony after barely ridding herself of it.)

(She always remembered to travel light and demolish her dwelling after that.)

Katara is so busy following the smoke that the can still see rising from the metal monstrosity, there, off in the distance, that she does not realize he is coming closer.

No. She wants to rage, to call forth a storm and freeze everyone here- but she doesn't. Instead, she picks up the sleeping roll and water pouch that she'd dropped in her frustration and moves away from the canoe. _That stupid child!_ Katara can't help but think (for anyone who would trust a firebender must be stupid, she knows). _Soon, the only way I'll be able to catch him is if I could fly!_ Fly? _Why does that-_ She blinks, grip on her possessions loosening. _Didn't Aang say that Appa could fly?_

She turns away from the canoe and is startled to see Sokka standing there.

"What are you doing?" he asks, his face blank, his eyes trained intently on her own. In one hand he holds another whale-bone spear. The other holds a coil of blood stained rope.

Her eyes narrow. "What are you doing?" And if she strains to listen for his heartbeat, well, he couldn't possibly know.

A pause- a moment where it seems as if the very sea itself is still- passes before either of them moves. They simply stare at each other, posture saying everything that neither mouth would dare voice. But then Sokka looks away, jaw working, grip on his spear relaxing, and holds up the coil of rope.

"Sara said she put you in the storehouse, but you weren't in there when those firebenders arrived." Katara scowls. So it was Sara. "Why is there blood on these?"

Katara scowls. _Don't,_ comes the thought, backed by years of practice holding her temper. And then, _Why?_ Because she is tired of putting up with all of these hypocrits who are supposed to be family. She is tired of working and working and putting up with the malice and suspicions. (And the heartbreak. But she doesn't acknowledge that one- can't acknowledge it and keep moving.) So: "Why do you think, Sokka?" And if he flinches as she brushes past him, if the air surrounding them is a bit colder and the ice a bit more brittle, it doesn't matter.

She has a flying bison to find. Sokka doesn't matter anymore. She reminds herself to focus on what's important.

Katara's hands ball up into fists and she grits her teeth. It's the distance that's the problem; she has no way to catch up with the firebenders, no way to travel across the water. Perhaps, if she knew how to better control her bending she would attempt to simply travel via canoe and steer using her bending. But she does not.

 _Why did he come back?_

She stalks through the village, dismissing the way the tribe hastens out of her way and pauses in their repair work, ignoring the fear in their eyes, and heads for the back gate.

Better question, _Where did he leave Appa?_

"Katara, wait!"

She pauses mid-step. _What now?_ She scowls. She should have known better than to have thought they'd just let her go, nevermind all the times that they tried to get rid of her. She turns around and sees Gran-Gran and Sokka standing there, though only Gran-Gran looks at her.

"What." It's not a question; no, that would imply she actually wants to know why they're delaying her, that she actually wants to hear their excuses and accusations. No, she just wants them to get on with it and get out of her way.

Gran-Gran holds out what looks like a warrior's pack- one of those smaller bags she remembered her father leaving, with a pair of whalebone knives and some salves and bandages inside- and clears her throat. "Katara, I… I know that these last few years have been- I should have treated you better, Katara. We all should have." She waits obviously expecting- expecting something. But Katara is so tired of giving all the time and this, this apology or whatever it is, is too little and too late and she has nothing left to say to any of these wolves. All she wants is for them to finally let her be, now that she's leaving. And she doesn't know how to say this, so she keeps her mouth shut and carefully blanks her face.

(She does not know that the lack of emotion on her face is by far scarier than the scowl had been.)

The old woman clears her throat again, licks her cold-chapped lips. "You'll need these," she tries, holding her burden out to Katara again.

Katara wants to- wants to freeze the old woman in place, to rant and rave about how she doesn't want anything from her, doesn't need anything. Instead she, with eyes narrowed and heartbeats thrumming in her ears, nods slowly and takes the pack. She doesn't know how the medicines are made and, while she doesn't really get sick, Aang might need them.

Gran-Gran heaves a sigh, looking almost- relieved, maybe? Happy to finally be rid of her? To know that Katara has accepted a gesture of goodwill and likely won't turn on everyone the way they turned on her? She's not sure, exactly, what the expression on the old woman's face is. Then Gran-Gran nudges the other silent party of their conversation. "Sokka."

The boy grunts. With her attention drawn to her brother- or whatever he is to her, now that she's decided she's leaving the tribe- Katara can see that he, too, is carrying a warrior's pack and a bedroll and that stupid boomerang of his.

"No."

With a frown and an outstretched arm, the old woman starts, "Katara-"

Then the girl in question cuts her off. "No. He's not coming with me." She nearly sneers before deciding that she doesn't have the energy to spare. "Besides, who'll ' _protect the tribe_ ' if he leaves." It's not a question: it's a mockery of just the day before, designed remind them of Sokka's _dedication_ to protecting the village of wolves.

But the old woman's frown deepens. "Aang is the Avatar, Katara. He's the world's only chance, and you both found him for a reason- your lives are intertwined."

 _Both?_ Katara remembers the way Sokka urged her to leave Aang trapped in the ice, the suspicious glares he gave the boy, the way he blamed her for the firebenders finding the village. (Remembers how the entire village tried to rid themselves of her, the looks they'd shoot her when she was still a child. How everything that goes wrong for them must be her fault.) She opens her mouth to argue the point, to- to make sure that she can finally be free of them. But then-

Then Appa groans as he crests the hill nearby and the moment to do so is lost. All attempts afterwards drowned out by Sokka's complaints as he climbs into the bison's saddle and Appa moves- almost as though he doesn't need to follow the wisps of smoke in the distance; almost as though he knows exactly where Aang is.

(They spend a good while in an oppressive silence broken only by attempts to figure out the words that tell Appa to fly. And an iron-fisted effort not to throw the tribesman over the side of the saddle and into the icy water, on her part. Both are close calls. Sokka is the one to remember the phrase, barely; Katara's chest feels as though someone has wrapped it in a vice, but she directs the skybison towards the distant plumes of smoke and very, very carefully does not say anything. Nor does she look at him.)

After Appa finally catches up to the ship, Katara is forced to acknowledge that perhaps Sokka's presence is a good thing- their first glimpse of the metal monstrosity is of Aang facing off against the firebender from earlier. (Without Sokka would she have remembered how to get Appa to fly in time to reach Aang?) And the airbender is so distracted by their arrival that-

"Aang! No!" Her heart leaps to her throat. (Sokka's stops for the briefest moment before kicking in double time. Katara doesn't actually notice that she can feel it, or that her heart is beating in concert with his.)

-that the firebender manages to knock the boy off of the vessel.

"Aang!"

 _No! Nonononono. Father, please not him too!_

"Aang!" her brother echoes her cry.

As if in answer, the boy rises in a giant spout of swirling water, eyes aglow. He lands on the deck, the water crashing against the gathering soldiers and knock several of them unconscious. Katara lets out a deep sigh, directing Appa to land on the metal beast and barely hearing Sokka exclaim, "Now that was some waterbending."

And then Aang collapses, eyes and tattoo dimming, and the soldiers who were merely dazed stagger to their feet. She and Sokka rush to his side, Sokka kneeling to pick up the younger (older?) boy while Katara watches the firebenders warily. "Aang, are okay?" She sneaks a glance at him from the corner of her eye.

"Hi, Katara, Sokka. Thanks for coming."

"Couldn't let you have all the glory, could I?" Sokka quips. And she wants to tell him, "Shut up! This isn't the time for your useless bragging," but-

But the way Aang sounded worries her more than the fact that the Fire Nation soldiers are cautiously approaching, and she doesn't dare tell Sokka to shut up. Not when his blase comment drags a smile to the younger-looking boy's face. _He didn't think I'd just let them take him, did he?_ No, that's not important right now. "We need to go." While Sokka goes for Aang's staff, she helps the airbender onto Appa.

"That's from the Water Tribe!"

Sokka's shout prompts her to glance over at him, certain the idiot had only gotten himself into more trouble. Her view is blocked by the sight of metal-skinned monsters leveling metal spears at her, and Aang and Appa.

She glances between all of them and thinks, _Oh_ no. An instinctive panic claws up her throat. But then she glimpses water pooled beneath their feet on the surface of the deck and stops thinking.

She feels the air around her cool, and the water whips up with a _snap_ , freezing the trio of monsters as they try to get closer. "Sokka, let's go!"

Katara shouts as she climbs up Appa's side, but Sokka's already almost in the saddle, yelling, "Yipyip! Yipyip!" as she joins him.

She relaxes. And then there's a giant fireball that singes her parka, a near miss even with Aang mustering up his strength and using the very air to bat it away. Her heart pounds wildly for a long moment.

* * *

"Now that's bending!" the young tribesman remarks as they fly away. He starts up a conversation with Aang and the airbender is more than happy to speak with him. She pretends to be deaf to the sound, exaggerating her exhaustion and curling up in the saddle so she will not have to acknowledge them.

(She's not hurt by his praise of Aang's bending skills. She _is not._ Waterbending is unlucky-

( ** _Even though it save you today? Even though it is all you've ever had to rely on?_** )

(That thought- _it doesn't feel like it's hers._ ))

"Why didn't you tell us you were the Avatar?" she hears Sokka ask.

"Because- I never wanted to be."

(The words feel like frostbite burning away at her fingers long after they leave the metal beast and its firebending monsters behind.)

Sokka and Aang come up with a plan- she knows that that is what they're doing, making a plan for Aang to save the world, but the words are distant and barely register.

(If even the Avatar feels unlucky because he can bend, what hope does she have? What hope does the world have?)

Katara closes her eyes.

* * *

Word Count: 2,240. Posted: 1/11/18


	7. 6: Goal

**_Chapter Seven: Goal_**

* * *

"Wait 'til you see it, Katara!"

The sun is just rising over the horizon and Katara is stowing her pack and sleeping bag in Appa's saddle as Aang fixes the reigns on the skybison's horns.

She stiffens, remembering their half-finished conversation from the ship a few days (and has it really only been a few days? It feels longer) prior.

"The Air Temples are some of the most beautiful places in the world!" he continues, oblivious to her thoughts.

"Aang... I know you're excited," she says slowly, trying to figure out how to be gentle about this, "but it's been a hundred years since you've been home."

"That's why I'm so excited!" the boy turns to grin at her before going back to fixing the reigns.

"A lot can change in that much time, Aang. Th-"

"I know, but I need to see it for myself!" And with that he jumps from the bison, Sokka shrieking from whatever Aang does to wake him.

Her face blanks, eyelids lowering halfway. _They might be hiding somewhere else so no one can find them,_ _Aang_ , she doesn't get to tell him. _They might all be gone._ Or, more likely: _They might all be dead._ After all, no one has seen an airbender in a hundred years, except for Katara and the Southern Water Tribe (and the monsters from a few days ago).

Sokka climbs into Appa's saddle, putting away his things. Katara moves to join Aang in sitting by the reigns. They take off.

* * *

Sokka's stomach growls and he grumbles at it, the only noise besides Aang talking to his bison for quite some time. "Hey! Who ate all my blubbered seal jerky?"

Katara can feel his eyes boring a hole into the back of her head, but only scowls. _She's_ not the one who goes through other people's stuff.

Next to her, Aang's eyes widen. "Oh, that was food? I used it to start the campfire last night. Sorry, Sokka."

"What!" The feeling of eyes glaring daggers at her disappears. The tribesman groans, "No wonder the fire smelled so good last night." Aang has no food to share with him, Katara knows. The airbender has been fasting, save for a water and few berries every now and then, since they decided to head to the temple.

Sokka doesn't ask Katara.

She doesn't offer.

Moments later, oblivious to the tension between his companions, Aang exclaims, "I know this mountain range! We're almost there!"

Katara's heart lurches and she sucks in a deep breath, mustering her courage. "Aang, before we get to the Air Temple, I need to speak with you about the airbenders."

"What about them?"

"I- You need to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless, Aang. They-" _killed my mother_. The words won't leave her tongue (because she isn't sure she's not the one responsible). Her chest feels like a massive bruise. "They killed most of the Southern Water Tribe, especially benders. They could have done the same to your people."

He spares her a glance, face still relaxed. "Just because no one's seen an airbender in a hundred years doesn't mean that the Fire Nation killed them all." As he speaks, his expression slowly morphs into a frown. "They probably escaped."

Her heart is being squeezed by a vice. She doesn't want to say this. "Still. Even if they did escape, the other airbenders might have had to abandon the temple, Aang. Go into hiding or-"

"You don't understand, Katara," he interrupts, face brightening. "The only way to any of the Air Temples is on the back of a flying bison. I doubt the Fire Nation has any of those, right, Appa?" he pets the bison's fur.

"Aang-"

"Leave him alone, Katara," Sokka gripes.

"The Fire Na-"

The boy won't listen to her. She can see from the way his face hardens as he calls, "Yipyip!"

Katara grips onto one of Appa's horns as the bison ascends rapidly, eyes clenched shut against the wind. _I'm going to be sick_ , she thinks. Her ears are ringing and her heart is in her throat. Or maybe that's stomach acid (she cannot tell).

Aang says something, but her ears are too busy popping for her to make out the words. She risks a glance at the airbender. His eyes are wide and his smile much more genuine. As her ears unplug she catches, "...home, buddy, we're home."

Her heart sinks as she takes in the temple. It's beautiful, truly: all white stone, soft blue-tiled roofing and terraced gardens fitted onto the mountain top as though it had grown there. But from what she knows of airbenders, Katara cannot help but wonder, _Where is everyone?_ Aang is constantly moving about, always dancing around, always flying. The sky around the temple is empty.

Perhaps I'm simply too far to see them, she thinks. (She ignores the voice in her head that asks her, _"And what of the skybison? They are large- would you not see them?"_ )

(It is that other voice speaking to her again, the one that is not hers but feels more familiar than breathing.)

(She wonders if she should be afraid. She cannot bring herself to fear it.)

Instead of voicing her worry, as she knows the boys will ignore her words of caution, she says, "It's beautiful here, Aang." He grins at her, and then turns his smile at Sokka when the tribesman echoes her sentiments.

They land.

"Come on!" The airbender leaps from the saddle. "I'll give you guys the grand tour!"

* * *

"So where do I get something to eat?" Sokka asks.

Katara takes one look at Sokka's slumped posture and deep scowl and snorts. He glares at her. "What?" She shakes her head as she lengthens her stride to catch up with Aang. One of the first to visit an Air Temple in nearly a century and he's thinking with his stomach. It's so typical of him that, for a moment, she almost feels like a child again.

The path curves up ahead and the airbender waits there for them, overlooking several of the temple courtyards.

He points out several locations. "That's where my friends and I would play airball, and there's where the bison would sleep and-" He breaks off with a sigh, smile falling from his face.

Quietly, Katara asks a question, hoping that her earlier thoughts are not just occurring to him.

His shoulders slump as he answers, "This place used to be so full of life. Now its just a bunch of rocks and weeds." A pause, another sigh, "So much has changed."

She can feel Sokka's eyes on her, as if silently urging her to comfort the boy, but she does not look at him. Katara cannot move, cannot speak. Her mind is drawn to memories of moonless nights and empty camps and the knowledge that what Aang now feels is how _she_ had felt when she was younger and her mother's death fresh in the minds and hearts of the Southern Water Tribe. How she was feeling until she let anger and frustration rise to the fore mere days ago.

 _I have no pack_ , she thinks, realizing that Aang is looking for his. And then, _I am no wolf. Neither is Aang. He's just a sad, lonely child with no family and no place._ ( _Like me_.)

She doesn't know how to comfort him. She opens her mouth anyway, re-

And Sokka beats her to it, asking, "So, uh, this airball game?" He walks forward to clap Aang on the shoulder. "How do you play?"

Shortly thereafter, Katara watches as Aang uses his bending to manipulate the ball, bouncing it off of the poles in the arena until Sokka tries, and fails, to stop it from knock him off his platform and through the goal. Aang laughs every time he scores, his earlier melancholy nowhere to be seen.

 _This is good for him_ , she thinks. For the first time in a long, long while, she feels content. She has no chores to do, no tribesmen to worry after, and her (friend?) companion- and Sokka, she supposes, are happy.

"Aang, seven! Sokka, zero!"

She smiles, despite herself, closing her eyes and leaning back against the natural wall that seperates the airball field from the rest of the temple. _Looks painful though,_ she muses as Sokka gets back up.

Then Sokka calls, "Guys, check this out!" His voice is unsteady.

 _Jinxed it._ The smile drops from her face

She should know better by now.

* * *

Word Count: 1,470

Posted: 2/12/2018


	8. 7: (Other Ways Than) Bisonback

Chapter Eight

* * *

 ** _(There Were Other Ways Than) Bison-back_**

* * *

"Guys," Sokka calls in a wavering voice, "check this out!"

The smile drops from Katara's face, her good mood sinking like a stone. _Jinxed it,_ she thinks. _I should know better._ And really, she should by now.

Aang- sweet, naive child that he is, is still basking in the glow of his victory. He does not realize that something is wrong. "Okay," he yells back, bouncing the strange wooden orb off of his elbows, lifting it with his bending as he makes his way over. Katara rushes to her feet, hurries over, but she already knows she will be too late. "What is-"

She sees the way he stops suddenly, the wooden ball falling to the ground. "No!" She can barely hear him whisper. And then, louder, "No! No, they couldn't- You need a bison to- No, no, no, no no no..."

She finally reaches the cliff-face where the boys are. She sees what they see, the helmet of some long-dead Fire Nation soldier: evidence that the monsters did, in fact, find their way into the temple. Her eyes sting, her stomach twists; she doesn't cry. But looking at the airbender, seeing Aang fall apart like this, it hurts her, wounds her in the same place as the scar from her mother's death.

"Aang-"

"No!"

He turns and runs.

The gust of air that forms in his wake knocks Katara and the tribesman over, holds them to the ground for a long moment before subsiding.

Sokka groans, sits up slowly.

Katara lurches to her feet, her head pounding and heart racing. "Aang!" she shouts. If he hears her, he does not give a sign.

"Katara-" Sokka says something from next to her, but she does not care to listen.

When her mother was taken from her by those monsters wearing human skins, she had wanted- more than anything else- someone to hold her and say she would be alright. The entire tribe had been there, has always been there. And the entire tribe has ignored her pain- has taken out their hurt on her, instead. _They abandoned me._

Aang's people are dead.

She does not know how this hurts him, but she thinks that it must be a similar type of pain. Or, maybe-

Maybe it's the same pain she feels whenever she thinks of her mother.

And Katara, she cannot simply-

She runs after him. Aang, after all, is still a child.

( _So was I._ )

* * *

She finds him curled up at the base of a statue. It bears the likeness of an old man. Gran-Gran- no, Elder Kana has mentioned that the airbenders were not raised by parents but by their mentors.

He was probably Aang's.

Katara doesn't say anything. There is nothing that can be said. There are no words to make this better, no words to make this hurt less. If such words do exist, the Katara does not know them; she has never heard them from anyone, has never had anyone to hear them. _"Tomorrow will be better,"_ she has whispered to herself for years and for years this comfort has been a lie. She will not lie to him.

She cannot comfort anyone with words, especially Aang. She knows that there is nothing she can do to make this better.

Instead, she sits next to him and does what she has always wished someone would do for her. She wraps her arms around him and holds him as he begins to cry.

* * *

Sokka finds them, later.

His arrival prompts the airbender to push Katara's arm's away and rise to his feet. Tear tracks have dried on his face; his eyes are red-rimmed, but dry. He turns, still silent, and walks into the Temple.

"Aang, where are you going?" Sokka asks.

The younger boy stills. "The Sanctuary." His voice is a husk that does not carry far, though Katara can just make out the words. He clears his throat. Says again, "The Temple Sanctuary. There's- There's someone I'm ready to meet."

Then he keeps walking.

* * *

They leave the Temple behind that same evening.

A lemur has joined their group, named Momo by Aang. But beyond the lemur, and the fruit it had led them to, the Temple has nothing for them.

(Nothing but statues and old bones; nothing beyond pain and old ghosts.)

* * *

Word Count: 730

Posted: 3/06/2018


End file.
